Holidays. Right. Okay.

I'm fine.
It's just ... so much has been happening lately, that I just don't know anything anymore.
I'm not used to dealing with real life.
I have this bad habit of running away from the things I need to face.
It's because I'm scared of being affected.
I just want to live in my happy-go-lucky bubble forever.
And I could because I was satisfied with what I had.
Then some higher force decided to give me something else.
Something I thought I never have. Something I never thought I'd even need.
But now that I have it. I don't want to let go.

Goddamn. Why am I even writing about this? I'm sorry.

Sometimes I think I make a big deal out of things that don't matter. It matters to me but to others, I guess it's 'normal'. But I'm scared. I don't know why ... but I'm so scared lately. My own fear is scaring me. I just don't know anymore.

But I think it must be a big deal because I haven't cried in almost two years ... yet now I feel like crying all the time.

WELL FUCK THIS.